DOUBLE O SPORTS

This week, I am gonna lay into some of my thoughts more as we break down the matchups. As stated in the past, week 5 will begin to test the patience and smarts of all the players as BYE weeks are going to start making yous play bench players. Can’t no longer set it and forget it. Gotta make sure you can play a full team. I am late to this because of one of my HATES and I had a toddler last night not hold their liquor so well and puked all over the VAN. Plus, I now get to go back and edit some prelim thoughts after the Bears beat down the RedSkins.

But to indulge all of you heathings, I need to get some things off of my hairy chest. I have hate in my heart right now at full staff. What do I hate?? … FALL… That’s right, the bullshit narrative of fall being the best season is not true! Fall includes the best thing in the world (FOOTBALL) but too many things created the devil are trying to keep football away from us!

FIRST HATE is the damn temperature range! I need to know what type of slacks and socks i need to wear in the day. I cant deal with my nose sniffing all day like a need a snow bump. If the heat is gone, then be gone!

Transactions

No major trades (Yet) but im sure yall are trying to steal players from Andrew or Jake. Waiting to see if Taco uses RB McLaughlin this week, Rob will suit up TE Jannu Smith, and Boozie will be flexing WanDale Robinson (Good Name). Snugs will hoping to get value from TE Higbee (How was he a free agent? )

SECOND HATE – Too Many Festivals jammed packed into now. There are 52 weeks of the year, by gawd they have to schedule all of them in 8. Once again, we have football on all day Saturday and Sunday, yet these carnies have to pedal around and trick our women into needing to spend some quality time out and about. $7 waters. $10 for food truck items. $15 for arts and crafts a toddler could make. F that. Move these festivals through out the year and give us hope in January and May.

Weekly Matchups

#1 Tight End University [4-0] vs #10 Burrow Calf Donor [1-3]

-14 pts TEU****

The undisputed top dog goes against the local top dog catcher as Andrew hopes to get his 2nd quality win of the year. I’m sure taco will fill out his team once he sees injury reports. Or he’s just being too cocky to show his cards. Jamaar chase is due for a big game, so Andrew will be dialed in for all of the prime games to watch. What I find interesting is that this is another week of top ranked TEU vs a lower Quality team… will that factor in the end? (UPDATE: WELLL WELLL WELLL, Chiraq might be able to help gather some donations for Wada. AFTER THURSDAY, BCD might be the favorite by -8 since DJ MOORE went the fuck off for 49.00 pts! Guess da bears don’t want the 1-2 picks for the 2024 draft! )

THIRD HATE – Apple orchards and pumpkin patches. Do you want to go out and pay more for apples than you can year round at Kroger’s? City folk get to cosplay their kids on farms for the harvest glory. I tried to take kids to Lucas Brothers pumpkin patch near bellbrook the other day. It was $15 a person to just be there… not including us picking out the pumpkin. I’m not paying you people for me to be your skilled field labor.

#2 Ra deal [2-2] vs #7 Ohio Glory [3-1]

Even*** (-10 Ra Deal after Thursday)

Well, there was a change in the wind after washingtons game. This was going to be the game of the peoples champ (#3OG) vs the spunky team (#4 RD). Computer nerds still are favoring Boozie after big quality wins and a strong team performance…while Tom can only hope for so much from that Dallas Defense. These owners will be watching their favorite teams battle on SNF. RD’s Howell recovered from a shakey first half to give Boozie a chance this week, as Scary Terry forgot what month it was. This will be close one I think, or if someone gets blownout they may need to evaluate their squad.

FORTH HATE AND BIGGEST HATE – Fall weddings. September, October, and November is for Football. But no, the womens have to take that away from us. Some of you have fell victim to this, and I will soon be releasing a class action lawsuit to compensate for lost football time. They say you will have a chance to watch games, but that’s BS. You gotta get your suit on early to start your base sweat layer. Then you got to get pictures done that majority of them will live in a usb stick forever. NOW you have missed all of the first games of the day. Now its time to do the ceremony (which can be lovely by the way, depending on how good looking the pastor is) and its time to be rushed all around. Only thing that could save you from all of this madness is beer and bourbon. But, on the flip side of this, if you are a guest.. you have to still go or you’re an asshole. You get judgey eyes from the brides family when you are huddled around a phone watching to see if OSU is going to cover over Miami of OH. And unfortanatly, we the guests have to then suffer through watching all of the first dances and dry chicken instead of listening to the sweet sweet music of men colliding into each other. Just something to think about. (CC: Jason, Boozie, Mark, Rose, Rob, Tom, and now Drew)

#3 Bullish [2-2] vs #4 All Gas No Breaks [2-2]

-20 Bullish

What looks like a blowout win for the turned around cash cow, drew is looking for his new look team to continue on the path of success. Snugs has more questions on this roster than a 4 year old asking why? Snugs needs his running backs to start carrying the load, and hurts to dominate. Drew on the other hand is hoping to have his QB’s put up big numbers, and all of his star wide outs continue to dominate. Poor snugs will be stuck at a SUNDAY WEDDING, so he won’t ever get to watch his demise. Look for Drew to get a lot of DP after this win.

FIFTH HATE – Pumpkin spice everything. OVERATED. Pumpkin pie is the shit, but that is where it should stop. There is a reason why its seasonal, because its not good. just a marketing gimmick. Hell, I don’t even know if pumpkins are a world commodity. Unsure if the people of Japan need to import in jack o lanterns for PSL?

#5 Taylor swift Ass acoustics[2-2] vs #6 Unsolicited Dak Pics [2-2]

-24 TSAA

Jake needs a tight end for this week, but it may not even matter. Mat got a top Thursday performance from Justin Fields and Curtis Samuel that may carry him into a much needed win. UDP is a wildcard of a team, because I look at it, and I cant figure out how they score points. Let alone, he has 2 wins this season, and they are of ok quality. Some of this might be stemming from the preseason hype. Lets see if the TSAA movement continues after this week, or if it will burn out.

SIXTH HATE – Overly complicated Halloween costumes. As an adult, I have better things to spend money on. If dressing up every year is your thing because this is the only time of the year you can wear a wig and makeup and no one thinks twice about it, then good for you.. the problem I have is people wasting money every year to “create” some crappy costume that will waste $50, then never wearing it again. I would be fine to buy a high quality Halloween mask, but then I am going to wear that every year. I’ll even look for more ways to incorporate wearing a mask into my yearlong activities! Feeling a little sick, wear a mask! Needs to not be recognized when getting money to pay for your side girlfriend? Wear a mask!

#8 Greg’s lobos [2-2] vs #12 Saquon these Nuts [1-3]

-1 Greg’s Lobos

The heartthrob of America, Rob, is looking to continue high scoring to stay in favor in the coaches polls, but to even maybe gain more D.I.C.K. Performance. After a strong start from Kmet, Nuts looks to spread it on mark. Greg’s lobos are hearing the reports that Breese Hall is no longer on a snap count, so he should be unleashed this week in a hate game against Denver. You also gotta like the matchup of Tua vs the NYGiants. What will be interesting from Rob is will this be the first week of Cooper Kupp back in action, and will this lessen the love story of Puka Nacua? Locally, Rob will also be watching how J Dobbs will be performing on the bengals, and mark will hope that Boyd will fill the passing void the bengals have.

SEVENTH HATE – CBS sitcoms. Fall means its time for “Americas most watched network” to introduce new bullshit that old boomers will be watching. How the fuck is Bob hearts ABISHOLA a thing. They always have an obsession with a middle aged man, normally overweight, being a funny guy with an attractive wife. THAT ISNT HOW LIFE WORKS CBS. King of Queens is not a real representation of a real queens family you bastards. Yes, Dear pissed me off, along with those assholes from everybody loves Raymond. Litterally the plot of all those show are we think this guy is funny. Lets make a family around him. That shit is played out.

#9 Waterboy [1-3] vs #11 QBU [2-2]

-7 QBU

Im glad to see a better name for Rose. He was also glad to see former QB Logan Thomas have his big game of the year before getting injured happen last night! Rose needs a quality win here, and Jason is the guy to bring it? Jason has a roster of guys that is averaging above the weekly league average, so he just needs to hope that the competition will cramp up and not outscore him. Im excited to see for Waterboy how Achane and Hill will run over NYgiants, and for QBU, if this is the week Burrow finally looks like his old self? His other QB is also hyped up for a mile high game with Wilson almost back home to the moorman land of Utah.

LAST HATE- Oscar bait movies. This is the point of the year when all of the movie start coming out that are complete fonder for winning awards. Well guess what, they aint the best. They just sneek these in while football is on to make you ignore that no one is going to see them. Movie awards are all rigged as the studios pay off people just to get wins. No one here likes it when people pay off others in order to get wins… right Taco? But, in fall, give me scary movies. There is a reason they make studios money. Cheap thrills done dirt cheap. Since I can go to a haunted house by myself, these will do…

BEST OF LUCK TO MOST OF YOU this weekend… enjoy your football freedom if you have it, unless you FALL victim to this bullshit of FALL.