DOUBLE O SPORTS

Greetings all!

I’m Dr. Oliver B. Statton, a distinguished statistical scientist in the field of football analytics, where I hold a PhD in Sports Statistics from the renowned Quantitative Sports Analysis Institute. With an unwavering passion for unraveling the intricacies of the beautiful game, I stand as a pioneer in applying advanced statistical models to elevate team performance and refine player strategies.

My groundbreaking research has reshaped the landscape of data-driven decision-making in football, leading to collaborations with top football clubs globally. My expertise seamlessly blends a profound understanding of the sport with state-of-the-art statistical methodologies, positioning myself as a sought-after authority in the ever-evolving world of football analytics.

Outside of academia, I am a fervent football enthusiast with a sharp eye for the nuanced interplay of statistics on the field. Whether advising coaches on optimal player rotations or mining match data for hidden patterns, I continue to make significant contributions to the convergence of statistics and football, steering the sport toward a new era of strategic excellence.

With that being said, I answered a Craig’s list advertisement from Dale Patterson and committed to helping invent a ranking system for your football league. I soon learned very much about each of your teams and each of you by reading through player chats and games. Now, I’ve learned quite quickly that I am more of an expert globally with a sport that you all call “soccer”, however I still am able to use calculations and statistics in order to analyze ANY sport.

I first looked at what rankings American sports have used in the past. I found that peer voting was a key item from college football. I then looked at what is call March Madness and a Net ranking system to establish quality. From there, I looked at what this sleeper app quantified per team, and I was able to create the League League Data Investigation, Calculation, Knowledge-base Ranking system. We shall abbreviate this L.L.D.I.C.K. Ranking for the sake of shortening.

My discoveries with your game highlighted three main areas of measurement. The first and most important is winning! You have a head to head league, therefore this will be a key factor in data. The second is execution! This will be quantified by looking at Points Scored, Point Differential, League Scoring Average, and by looking at your lineup management efficiency. The last item that I needed to calculate was quality. I assigned values based on your coaches poll, and I was able to then use those percentage on a week to week basis to compute a win factor. All of these combined will result in a numerical Performance to rank each of your teams on.

Therefore, please allow me to share with you all the first ever D.I.C.K. Performance Ranking.

OVERALL

1. Tight end University
2. Ra deal
3. Bullish
4. All Gas No Breaks
5. Taylor swift Ass acoustics
6. Unsolicited Dak Pics
7. Ohio glory
8. Greg’s lobos
9. Water boy
10. Burrow calf donor
11. QBU
12. Saquon these Nuts

Weekly performance – week 4

1. Ohio glory
2. Tight end U
3. Bullish
4. Radeal
5. TSAA
6. Greg lobos
7. QBU
8. Saquon these nuts
9. Water boy
10. All gas no breaks
11. Unsolicited Dak pics
12. Burrow calf donor

Thank you for reading. Please send in your inquiries for why rankings are the way that they are! I can expand on calculations before I finish my new thesis this season.