DOUBLE O SPORTS

BOYS, we got a problem. 5 Damn commercials I saw this weekend were for Travis Kelce. This asshole is parading around like it’s the maceys thanksgiving day parade. I don’t know what deal his mom made with the nfl or the mannings to be the new face. Well I don’t want it. The people of Ohio don’t want it either. Also, I had high expectations for the Toy Story game because Pixar creates nothing but hit after hit. This was glitched more than watching scrambled channels back in the day.

Transactions

– A lot of action in the last week… Rob trades away his coveted Buckeye wide recievers for the Cooper Kupp, going all in for with the Rams WR room. A 3 way gangbang happens with Snuggs giving away Doubs for Jimmy G and Skyy Moore, Andrew getting sniper qb Purdy, a now hurt J Williams of Denver, and Taco cumming away with Pierce, Edwards, and Romeo. With the round of Waivers, a lot of changes are happening with interesting Start and sit actions that makes you wonder if we are getting everyones best ball?

Results

#1 Tight End U (4-0) blitzkriegs Saquon these Nuts (1-3)

Well this seemed like the special week for Rob. Russ Wilson finally cooked. Puka Nacua broke rookie records, and walked off the game against the colts. CJ Stroud is also proving to be a solid Superflex, while Kmet emerged from the TE wasteland to have a huge day. This was the team that the Nuts were ready to be after all the offseason prep. However, MF’n taco went off for what might be a top 3 weekly performance for the season. (This is why I need a stats guy) Josh Allen and Anthony Richardson were not dicking around, putting up 57 points combined. Jefferson and Mandrews both snagged 2 tds to be another 51 points. And his running backs have already put up almost 34 points with walker still going tonight. The only misstep this week for TEU was the London Jags staying on the bench. 

#2 Ohio Glory (3-1) runs on full steam on Water Boy (1-3)

In what was projected to be closer, the flag waved high for the OG over team H2O. Let’s highlight the damn Cowboys Defense… out of allll choices for players, they are ranked #13 in scoring… higher than all but 2 Running Backs…all but 6 Wide receivers. They are scoring more than Jared Goff is. So besides them, Tom had Jacobs finnaly show up to 28 points, Terry act scary with 23 points, and just a solid lineup. Jason on the other hand thought the new running Cerberus of Achane, Pacheco, and henry would be enough! Unfortunately, the niners, tucker, and james conner felt otherwise. This is one that could change from MNF, and if so I will negotiate something for Jason for my false reporting, but this is a huge win for the glory.

The Taylor Takeover continues; TSAA (2-2) upsets a lackluster performance of #3 All Gas No Breaks (2-2)

I don’t know about you, but mat is two and two… I should have known it was going to happen. Snugs thought this week was going to be a cakewalk after seeing David Montgomery leave 34 points on the TSAA bench.

However, October first happened on the calendar. Once fact I know of Mat is that he is a master of dealing with the occult and witchcraft. Spooky season is upon us, and the trance of the ass acoustics broke down the gassers. Justin Fields played like he wasn’t playing for the bears (29 Points), and Phily remembered they had AJ brown on the team!(39 Points) Superflex still had a strong love (20 Points) potion to help us talk with Godwin (19 points). If you look for whats happening for snugs, the noon lineup change of pickett (4.5 points) benching Nico Collins (36 points) was a bad omen. In previous weeks, all of the Wide outs caught all of the smoke for AGNB; this week it was a total of 22 points for 4 of his positions. I guess Taylor and her entourage of Deadpool and Wolverine will still be around to cause havoc on this league. The swiftys will leave us Haunted this season

#4 Bullish (2-2) stampedes over Unsolicited Dak Pics (2-2)

Back on his Name change bullshit, Drew made all the right moves to have a top week over Daddy Jake. He used his cheat code Diggs to gain 36p, with Adams and Wilson each contributing 15 each. DJ on the over hand did not see a single player get more than 15p. (Geno and Locket still are to play, but hes down by 80pts.) Several players underperformed, and have their own battles ahead of them. 

Ra Deal (2-2) proves to not be a counterfeit over #5 I’ve Seen Better (2-2)

Praise be to Amon-ra, and Boozy gets back to the winning ways over Rose. Powering the winners was this weeks CANNONBALLER of the week** of Christian McCaffrey amassing 49 points. The surprise for this team was Sam Howell almost leading the commanders over the eagles. (20 pts). Rose on the other hand, saw some better things with his crew. Baker continues his revenge tour with 24pts. Aiyuk returned with 21pts. And hell the Broncos responded from their incident in Miami with 14 pts. Unfortunately, the problem is the who dey. Joe Burrow’s 5 points is not covering it. Tee Higgins only scored 4 pts in route to breaking his Rib (I wonder what Rib will be back first, Higgins or the McRib?). Since it is an odd year, Mike Evans has hurt his hamstring. Hopefully one of the 5 QB’s ISB employees will step up for the weeks to come. 

(** Once again, I am assuming no one on MNF will get more than 49 points, however it is Boozes luck sooo….) 

Greg’s Lobos (2-2) proves to be hungry, and dines on Burrow’s Calf Donor (1-3)** (Assuming Kicker Jason Myers does not score more than 22 points. If he does, BUAHAHAHAHAHAH)

Mark needed this, while Andrew did not. With several lobos not scoring well, (Addison, Gibbs, Dell, and Cooks) the team were lead by Jacksons 28pts, KWilliams 28 pts, and kirks 16pts day. BCD thought that after last week’s huge win, the calf rehab was going in a winning direction. DJ Moore lead the team with 27pts, followed by the Ravens D (17 pts), amd open all day Jamaar Chase (14pts). The risk I am surprised Andrew took was starting Derek Carr in his superflex with a sprained AC joint. Im no Doctor or Athletic trainer, but I would assume that a QB with that injury would have difficulties. Too bad there wasn’t a free agent QB that could of shined in that role that may have been on this team prior…

Keepers and Weepers

Top Keepers – CMC 49.70 pts(Boozey) and A.J Brown 38.5 pts (Mat)

Top Weepers that played – joe Burrow 4.7(Rose) , Rhamondre Stevenson 6 points (Snugs) 

Worst Starters (Non DEF or K) – Addison 0.00 pts (Mark), Debo 0.6 pts (Snugs)

Best Bench Players – Collins 35.8 pts (Snugs) , D Montgomery 34.10 (Mat) 

Top FA’s – WR Wilson, AZ 26.6 pts, RB McLaughlin, DEN 19.4pts, QB Wilson NYJ 19.2 pts, TW Smith ATL 15.5 pts. 

League Rule Suggestion

While in my Shit and shower routine this morning, I thought about items to keep track of and I was reminded of how the Bullish Organization “Won” the loser bracket last year of the playoffs and received the first pick of the post auction draft. I could not remember how that format worked, so I purpose something different. A Fatal Four Way Eliminator. Rules are simple. Starting week 15, the 4 teams not in the playoffs are looking to have top scores, not just win a head to head match up. After week 15, the bottom team is out. The remaining 3 teams then do the same thing week 16. Then, the last week while we have the championship game, we have the eliminator finals too! This lets it last as long as the main playoff, instead of ending after week 16. 

I am glad to get this out early so that I can focus on my next magical exposition for you all, and then we can introduce my newest assistant later this week! Let’s see how injuries and bye weeks really impacts each week for seeing who actually knows what they are doing.