DOUBLE O SPORTS

I wanted to review the documents I’ve found in my research to talk about an alarming trend that I’ve found in regards to injuries and Monday night football. While we watched with a gasp as Nick Chubb had a helmet rip through every ligament in his knee, there was another significant injury that happened during the duel broadcast. Locker room leader Shaq Thompson, Linebacker for Carolina Panthers pulled a Brian boos and had a fractured fibula that will cost him his season. 

This is steaming from the end of the New York jets season with Aaron Rodgers blowing up his Achilles for week 1. If we go back further, there of course was the cardiacs arrest of demar Hamlin on the last MNF of 2023. 

I wanted to review all of the 2022 injury’s, but conveniently they are hidden from my view. There are some cracks from fellow scholars posted in the anals of the internets, but I have 2 working theory’s on this phenomenon. 

THE MANNING SHADOW CURSE.

for those of you not aware, Archie Manning has a hold behind the scenes running the NFL. Archie manning was a QB for the longest time during the 70s for the New Orleans Saints. While tripping on hippy dippy drugs, and being a shitty QB, Archie made love with several voodoo hoodoo womens of the bayou. He was able to steal their devil magic to continue to start in the NFL, dispite being not great. The toll took a lot on his body and began to monkey paw into other aspects of his life that made him know that he needed to retire from the nfl as a player and start playing the league as a evil emperor hiding in the Shadows.

1984 was when Archie retired, but this branched into 2 major events that Archie controlled. The first was small sports network ESPN being bought by ABC, a move no doubtedly approved by a new shadow organization that Archie was joining in post NFL playing. The second was Archie using the first of his voodoo dolls to create future QB, Troy Aikman.

See, Troy was going to be an MLB player when dark forces made him change paths. Archie used his powers as a test to the new qb to see how far a QB could go under his shadow control. Obviously, he was able to puppet his way to 3 Super Bowl wins, several pro bowls, and numerous other awards. This influence from Archie came with consequences to the manning darkhold as the voodoo magic reserved for eldest son Cooper was lost, and he did not make a football difference post high school. In order to return the voodoo back to the manning name, Archie knew that they needed to concuss Aikman in order to end his playing career. As a consolation for this sacrifice, Archie got Troy a job using his half of a brain left to start commentating games. All of these seems to be branching off on to his own until our story meets back up in 2022….

Go back to the end of the 90s, the next batch of manning projects mature to igniting their fathers control on the NFL. Peyton starts off his career with his father organizing his success by growing and growing the manning stronghold on the nfl. Multiple MVP awards, and stat records all being written by the manning name. The visions then materialized by Peyton winning his first Super Bowl in 2006. The power of the curse was real. The next step in this curse was to give back to the source of his powers a Super Bowl win. Therefore, the saints beat Peyton to earn their first Super Bowl.

Not to be outdone by getting his hometown a Super Bowl, and his second born, he must then rigg it up for his baby boy to get a Super Bowl too. Eli wins one. This time, it’s over the one chosen by god himself, Tom Brady. So now, the dark lord manning has procured three super bowls for each of his three children. His reign should be over, but greed haunts him. He must get more

AT THIS POINT WRITING THE ARTICAL, SOMETHING HAPPENED TO ME AS I HAD CHILLS AND FELT LIKE THROWING UP AND HAD THE SHITS. IS THE MANNING VOODOO CUMMING ONTO ME?

We all know the rest where Peyton and Eli get one more Super Bowl, but how do we get to the manning curse? Since Archie takith from the voodoo one too many times, he must continue to feed the beast with manipulation of football. And the best way that he could manipulate it all, was by getting his sons and his disciple of Troy all on Monday night football. And what do all of these shadow soldiers dodo for the voodoo? Create catestrophic injuries for the nation to witness. Thing of the FEAR created by watching a man die on your tv screen? The loss of faith in an entire region by imploding a calf tendon. The anguish of the working class not going full Chubb. This feeds the beast, and gives unholy life to the shadow whisperer of the NFL, Archdemon Manning.

There will be a part two unless they find me on the control ESPN negotiating made with this evil overlord, and maybe a bonus chapter on why the mannings declared war on San Diego. Until then, stay frosty true believers.