DOUBLE O SPORTS

This last Sunday was one of the world that ment something in our lives returned. Some may feel it was that nip of cool air, allowing us all to recharge for a busy fall and holiday season. Some may have gathered with friends and family to assemble quality time. Sundays can also be a time to reflect on the workweek, and plan your next week. Some of us may even conjugate to a high power to pray and whatever. However, this last Sunday was the first of many for us true americans to sit our butts on a couch for 10 – 12 hours of non-stop football action! Who had the offseason genius moves that translated to their fantasy game, and who will already give up and trade away all of their players somehow to Taco?

League Lessons

To start off this week, I must highlight a piece of Sunday scripture that spoke to me.

It was in this moment, you should have known you fudged up. Granted, its week 1, so over reaction will undoubtley happen, but man some teams looked like trash. Still in preseason mode were the Bengals, Giants, Seahawks, and Steelers. I think looking at most managers this week, we will see a lot of change happing with the superflex as 2 QB’s appeared to be a kryptonite.

Top Analysis

FYI, I will be writing most of these articles on Monday’s so unless a matchup is close, I will be assuming what happens and just edit it on Tuesday or revise it on Thursday/Friday with that weeks preview. (Updating from the god damn jets when I can. )

#1 Ohio Glory Survives a spunky #12 I’ve Seen Better

Early projections saw one of the biggest upsets of a david vs a giant than the 1932 Emu War. BeeLilJohn has the people of ATL saying YEAH as scored over 20 points! Rose also had the purdy effective weapon of Aiyuk putting up nearly 33 points! Life looked great for Rose, heading to bed after laying his sweet baby down, and giving himself a fist pump in the mirror… BUT HOLD UP, WAIT A MINNUTE, LET ME PUT SOME HOW BOUT DEM BOYS IN IT. The Dallas D railed rose harder than Jack did on the Titanic.

#2 New Jersey Generals of course wins over #5 Greg’s Lobos.

Dispite Tua keeping his head on straight for Mark and scoring 28, Taco’s WR outscored mark’s 48 to 6.10 points. The MNF performance of Josh Allen helped poor on the sugar for Taco’s funday Sunday. You gotta ask what is happening with LaMar Jackson as he said he was going to put up 6000 yards passing before the season. I hope that mark is able to listen to some podcast this week in order to like, review and subscribe to a new game plan.

#7 All Gas No Breaks returns to glory over an excited # 3Unsolicisted Dak Pics

Speaking of text messages, Jnol sends Snugs a tiktok talking shit last week. Luckly, all snugs does now adays is clean up shit from diapers, toddlers, and streamers. Jake failed to have a single player score over 12 points, where snugs had 5 with 2 right behind at 11. Aaron Jones ran his way into top team honors with 26.70 points and was all smiles although he tweeked his buttcheek.

Unless Jake has James Cook go off on MNF(UPDATE: HE DID NOT), you gotta hope for some bounce back weeks coming up for his keepers and Jason’s keeper.

#9 Taylor Swifts Ass Acoustics busts #4 Bullish IPO

With Travis Kelce setting the tone for this team, you knew Peters was about to go down in flames against the Swifty when you look at his roster thurday and saw nothing but blank spaces.

Once again, solid real life players for the bulls, but the fantasy side favored the swi guy . A Jacoby Meijers scored 29.10 Mperks for Mat, while the love train help brought new meaning to the term “The L” in Chicago. (23 Points) Gotta keep an eye out for Mat continuing this new winning tour for him, and check on peters to make sure him and his team are Safe & Sound.

TUESDAY UPDATE

This game got really close thanks to a pissed off Jets D, steph Diggs, and zerline. Andrew loses a close one by 1.2 points. Could this have been the worse thing to happen from MNF?

#6 Ra Deal runs all over #7 Water Boy

Besides his noucense comments over “Jason putting up a fight”, Boo’s team flexed all over Jason’s team. Unless Gabe Davis pulls another MNF … ( I’m sorry, there was going to be a very insensitive comment here on the game and the last time the Bills were on Monday night, but I pulled the joke. I did not want to upset the fragile spirits of the Ra Deal team. ) The 3 RB’s that Boos started combined for almost 75 points. That alone would have almost beat Jnol. Some bright spots are showing for Jason as he had the LEAGUELEAGUE CANNONBALLER of the week. (See section on 1961 oilers) Shoutout Tyreek Hill and his 44.5 points. (Remember when the chargers were supposed to have a great Defense? You got a Bosa, Khalil Mack, JC Jackson, Derwin James, Asante Samuel Jr….) Anyways, Moorman should rebound as long as he doesn’t blow up his team after 1 week.

#10 Saquon these nuts upsets #11 I call Slut

I will have more on Andrews team name, and change this following week, but who ever this team is did not show up to their projections and is looking to lose by 25 to 30 points.( UPDATE IT WAS BY 45) Now, Robbins does have Arod playing on MNFbut the WR of Garret Wilson for Rob should spell out W-I-N for the nuts. (I realized that this is the second time that I have spelled out WIN for this matchup, and I would like to note that this is coincidence and not a joke against the spelling abilities of Andrew or Rob. I am sure that the intelligence level of these two can be summed up with accolades from their 12 years combined of studying at The Wright State University.) Robbins players all did ok, but Rob’s Azz ETN season of guys like Herbert and Flowers really sprung him into a victory. In addition, to think, Pacheco scored more points than Jamaar Chase did.

Keepers and Weepers

As a keeper league, I think it will be wise of us to note who’s keepers led their team to victories, and who’s choices was unable to reap the benefits of getting that great win. Obviously, Jason didn’t need 2 keepers on his roster when Tyreek Hill is getting 44.5 points in Hollywood, but the 2 headed backfield Boos owns of McCafferey and Ekeler may help him sweep this in the future.

On the flip side, I know Mark and Peters are still waiting for Taylor and Kelce to play, but let take a moment to highlight the man who got the bag. Southern Ohio’s hero Joe Burrow just got the bag, got the money that some thought old man mike brown would never have given away to a player, but to keep hidden in a mayo jar in one of his many southern plantations. But Joe got paid, ended his injury hold out, and went out to lead Rose’s team… well I’ve seen better as he scored 3.2 points and remains 1-6 against the browns. The only thing worse for someone is to have also have kept Najee Harris and his 5.3 point performance…

Holy hell MNF update

While this hurts because the packers will not be getting a better draft pick, Andrew Robbins and the No good, very bad week 1 ends with his keeper qb getting hurt for the season on the 4th play of the game. He went 0/2 and got zero points.

Best Ballers

Out of Spite, let comment on the best Bench performances of the week, where if the settings were changed… we might have had a different outcome. This weeks best baller was JNOL. Could of had 128 points if this was best ball. Still would have lost, but it’s the fact of knowing. Still, no outcomes would have changed with best ball so I digress.

The Beat of the Week

I seen this on the internet and I felt I had to share… The song that jumped out to me for week 1 was like a Who song Baba O’ Riley where we are living in the TE WASTELAND . Lets look at the stats of the top Tight Ends preseason vs what tey did week 1.

Kelce – Out

Andrews – Out

Hockenson  8 catches – 35 yrds – 0 TD

Kittle  3 – 19- 0

Goedert 0-0-0

Engram 5-49-0

Waller 3-36-0

Pitts 2-44-0

Njoku 2-25-0

Higbee 3- 49-0

Kmet 5-44-0

Freiermuth 1-3-1 TD

Okonkwo 0-0-0

We all got hosed on the Tight ends this week, but maybe we should have listened to Snugtrodamas in the draft and played Hayden Hurst?

Who’s NXT?

My last section is looking at the injuries that will cause changes, and the waiver fights coming up. First off, RIPIP J.K. All Day Dobbins. Torn Achilles, probs end of playing career for a RB. (Sorry Mat) Might see some pulled hammy causing time off too for WR Diontaw Johnson and Maybe RB Aaron Jones. No other Injuries to speculate on at the moment.

Who will we see get picked up at the wavier time? Top 5 scoring free agents were WR K Bourne of NE – 24.4 points, WR Puka Nacua (Not making this up) LAR – 21.9, Cardinals DEF – 21 points, WR Rasheed Shaheed (Again, not making this up but this is what Y2K did to the baby naming pool) NO – 19 points, and Kicker! Nick Folk of TEN – 18 points.

UPDATE RIP AARON RODGERS. BEST OF LUCK TO ZACH WILSON

Thank you all for reading and playing, and I cant wait to tell you all about TV’s seasons premieres in week 2!